Sex Therapy FAQ

Couples and individuals seek sexual therapy for many reasons. Some reasons are clear, focused and simple; others are complex and require in-depth consideration. Regardless of what motivates you to seek help, you are to be commended. It takes courage to admit there is a sensitive problem and to ask for help. Working with a state-licensed, AASECT-certified professional assures that you will receive supportive, ethical and competent professional assistance.

What type of sex therapy is right for me?

The therapist offer two distinct options:

On-the-Go consultations are a fast and easy option for busy people. In a 30-minute phone call, therapist can help you gather information and get answers to simple questions. It’s also a chance for you to relieve anxiety by discussing sexual dilemmas or worries with “no strings attached.” Calls are confidential, educational, time/energy efficient and affordable. If you are curious about what sex therapy might have to offer, this is a great way to find out.

Traditional Sex Therapy addresses complex sexual concerns and problems experienced by both individuals and couples. These problems tend to require extended time to improve or resolve. It is rarely easy to acknowledge that a problem exists in an area that is traditionally very private, sensitive and confidential.

Most clients who opt for longer-term therapy believe that the investment is well worth the effort. They value the quality and satisfaction of their present and future lives, and are motivated to make change happen. Traditional sex therapy provides insight, support, and new strategies for dealing with all types of sexual, lifestyle, medical and stage-of-life challenges.

What can I expect in a therapy session?

Every therapy session is unique and geared toward addressing your specific needs and goals. During therapy sessions, it is standard to talk openly and honestly with the therapist about your sexual issues and behaviors, as well as the other major concerns in your life. You will never be asked to remove your clothing or to do anything in a therapy session that may make you feel uncomfortable.

It is common to schedule a series of weekly sessions, each lasting at least 90 minutes, or longer. Sometimes individuals who are going through a particularly tough time may temporarily benefit from an additional session per week.

There may be times when you are asked to take certain actions outside of the therapy sessions. These actions may require you to stretch your comfort zone. Frequent reading, record keeping regarding specific behaviors, and sexual “homework” exercises are assigned. These activities tend to shorten the length of treatment. It is important for us to talk about what has been learned, practiced and integrated into your sexual life. You and/or your partner can accomplish a great deal between sessions to make your counseling experience more productive and economical.

How long does traditional sex therapy take?

No reputable therapist can predict or guarantee with certainty how long it will take for you to achieve your goal(s) through sex therapy. My preferred approach is highly targeted and short-term, focusing on a specific issue or issues. Most of the people I work with reach their goals with 6-12 sessions. However, it may be necessary for us to extend therapy to deal with more complex medical problems, dysfunctional couple dynamics or individual variations.

By the end of our first, full evaluation session (90-plus minutes), you will receive a verbal tentative estimate of the time and an outline of the steps typically involved in problem resolution or improvement.

On-the-Go connections are also used by active clients who are in the process of receiving traditional therapy as an efficient way to “check in” between sessions, or to follow up after the completion of a course of extended therapy.

Do I need to be in a relationship to see a sex therapist?

Absolutely not. Many problems prevent individuals from experiencing the full benefits of a satisfying and fulfilling sexual life. For most single people, relationships are optional. But most sexual problems can be successfully (perhaps preferably) dealt with in individual sex therapy.

Should I see a sex therapist alone or with my partner?

If you are both available to see me, that is what I recommend. If one of you is ready to take that step, then begin that way. I never underestimate the curiosity of an individual when their partner informs them that they intend to get help “with or without them.” Most partners do not wish to be left behind and genuinely want the therapist to hear both sides of the story. So I encourage individuals to seek therapy regardless of the initial reaction of their partner.

Ultimately, even if one of you feels responsible or “blamed” for the problem, it is a relationship problem that both of you are experiencing. If a couple is interested in having a satisfying sex life, you will benefit from being in treatment together.

According to research, what are the benefits of sex therapy?

Research shows that the benefits of sex therapy include:

Increased sexual desire and interest in engaging in sexual activity
Learned ability to be honest and verbally expressive with your partner
Improved orgasmic potential and more potent orgasms
Attained insight into negative personal patterns and behavior
Improved way to manage disappointment and frustration
Discovery of new ways to solve old problems
Reduced performance anxiety for both sexes
Decreased need to “fake orgasms”
Enhanced body image, sexual confidence; decreased fear of intimate rejection
Increased “openness” to talking about sex and new sexual experience
Enhanced overall quality of life and length of life

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